Essay for college: Can I please have your oppinion on it?

There are 3 Paragraphs. 1 Thesis sentence (end of paragraph 1), and 2 topic sentences (beginning of paragraphs 2 & 3). Do they sound alright? Oh, and each paragraph will be posted as "additional details".Oh, and the essay is actually double spaced, with indentations at the beginning of the paragraphs, it just didn't show it when I copy'pasted it onto Y!A. Thanks!

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3 Answers to “Essay for college: Can I please have your oppinion on it?”

  1. fumes says:

    it sounds great… you used variety of words and more educated words that made it sound sophisticated… i liked it

  2. soothes says:

    i love it u well definly get a A+

  3. hypergamy says:

    I have made some suggestions in the text. I hope they are helpful.There are any number of setbacks that people can be tested by; the alterations to one’s life can range from major to insignificant, casual and undemanding to extraordinary and even painful. During the summer of 2003, I experienced a reversal of fortune that was both common and catastrophic. Being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes taught me that no matter what hardships may befall you, any problem can be overcome with your family beside you.I first noticed something different was in play a few weeks after my 13th birthday; I was excessively thirsty, always tired, and had frequent mood swings. My mother took me to the doctor who diagnosed me with Type 1 Diabetes. I was completely stunned and indescribably shocked. What was Diabetes? Why me? I learned, in classes held at the hospital, that Type 1 Diabetes was an auto-immune disease. This meant my immune system had attacked and killed off the insulin-producing beta cells in my pancreas. Type 1 Diabetes does not discriminate; male or female, young or old, any race or nationality.. anyone can be at risk. I also learned that in order to stay alive, I would have to test my blood glucose levels several times daily, count every single gram of carbohydrate I ingested, and take injections of insulin regularly. How was I going to handle all this? Could I deal with this responsibly? I was frightened and uncertain about what the future held for me, and so was my family.I originally thought that the diagnosis of Type 1 Diabetes would hinder me. In reality, Diabetes has given me many opportunities to learn more about who I am. This illness has offered me a blessing within its curse. Because of this diagnosis, I’ve learned that I can overcome anything life throws at me, whether it’s a traffic jam along the way or being diagnosed with an unforgiving, lifelong disease. Because of Type 1 Diabetes, I’ve made wonderful friends who also have Type 1, that I can count on to be there for me any time. Friends who understand and offer support if I’ve had a bad day with fluctuating blood sugars. I’ve learned that no matter how difficult diabetes can be, and in spite of the Highs and Lows that can’t be controlled and the thousands of finger pricks and injections that must be administered, I can prevail over this misfortune with my friends and family by my side.