Anyone feel like editing/looking over a freshmen english paragraph?

Cause I know this is exactly what you want to do on this lovely monday, but it needs to be perfect, and I'm not feeling it. It's a literary based expository essay on allegory in William Golding's "Lord of the Flies." 'I'm doing it on phychological allegory. Tell me anything you see anything with the prose, syntax, wordiness, structure, ANYTHING. Thanks, and be harsh ! ______________ Mr.Waldron English I Honors 12th March 2012 Body Paragraph Furthermore, In Freudian psychology, the ego works as the conscious mind who finds an equal balance between the thoughts of the id and the superego. Ralph is a representation of this internal mediator when the boys lose their better judgment. As said by Golding on page 102, "Hasn’t anyone any sense? We’ve got to relight that fire. You never thought of that, Jack ,did you? Or don’t any of you want to be rescued?" The fire, which represents civilization, is Ralph’s biggest priority throughout the story. By urging the boys to tame the fire, he’s attempting to focus the extremities of Piggy and Jack on remaining civilized. Diane Henningfield states that "this mediation process is called the reality principal; that is, the notion that immediate pleasure must be denied in order to avoid painful or deadly consequences." Despite Ralph’s succession to immediate pleasure in some chapters, he is angered at Jack for putting hunting above the fire, and urges the tribe to prioritize. Moreover, the ego is vital in delimiting the power of the superego and the id.

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One Answer to “Anyone feel like editing/looking over a freshmen english paragraph?”

  1. dstport says:

    I don’t see anything wrong. The wording flows nicely, and even without reading the book, I got the main gist of the paragraph. Wonderful job.