Can someone help me correct this carried on sentence please? Quick!?

Okay I am not the best writer. I need to make a thesis statement for a 1000 word essay due in two days. (assigned today) and, i tend to have extensive sentences. :( they make sense to me but, I think the average writer would think I was a loon to write like this. okay please feel free to criticize my thesis and correct please. oh by the way its an 1000 word essay on the history of trumpets:( Thesis: Some of the earliest trumpets can be traced all the way back two thousand BC. It is the discoveries man kind strives to find that guides our perspective of the trumpet, magnified, in such a way with influential engineered material, and indeed distorted to perfection.Okay thats it. And if you guys also have some paragraph topics please please please tell me.. and please hurry but, just feel free to critique me in benificial ways.

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One Answer to “Can someone help me correct this carried on sentence please? Quick!?”

  1. Mantispa says:

    I don’t feel that it is a good thesis. It’s confusing, to me. What is the overall question you are asking in your essay? Your thesis will answer that question.