What do you think of the start to my Health essay ? HELP! PLZ!?

From the moment we wake up, our actions are part of what defines us. Our words are what people begin to think of us, as we go from day to day expressing how we feel. But why is it that we do what we do, and say what what we say. Further yet, why do we feel what we feel? We don’t necessarily cry out tears of words, or bleed out blood of pain, but we feel different emotions. People take things all sorts of ways, but people with illnesses tend to take things more in a specific manner. For instance, when studying Health Psychology, you’d know exactly why people are behaving the way that they are, and why they would take a situation in the way that they were doing. Health psychology specializes in exploring biological, psychological, cultural, societal, and environmental factors of someone’s life, and how each of these affects your physical health. But why be so interested in such a thing. Why even care? If you ever walked down a city street, and came across a person who stood there lonesome, yet talking out loud publicly , you’d wonder why they are doing such a thing and better yet start questioning their sanity. Thats the first hook of being interested in such a career as Health psychology. Being interested in how their illness may be influencing them and the world around them. That being said, that’s how I found myself being interested in pursing a career in Health Psychology. Any advice? Comments?

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One Answer to “What do you think of the start to my Health essay ? HELP! PLZ!?”

  1. wilf says:

    it’s really good! I like that you added insight about yourself as well as making the reader think. It’s a good hook. Make sure though that it does have to do with your essay very well bec ause you need a good thesis statement and a good hook to capture the reader that is relevant to yoru story.