Persuasive essay, Promp is “What makes a good leader?”, must be related to Sakespeare’s ‘Julius Ceaser’?

I'm in the 10th grade. I need to have an Attention Getter, a Bridge/ Background statement, a Thesis, and 3 Main Points. This is the first paragraph. Honesty is key! Please criticize to the last detail if you need to. Thanks so much:Can three specific qualities be found in every good leader, past of present? What are these characteristics and how do these they show leadership? The answers are written in William Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar". Each leader in Shakespear's "Julius Caesar"—Marcus Brutus, Marc Antony, and Julius Caesar—expresses at least one of these characteristics. In order to be considered a good leader, one must have ambition, intelligence, and determination. First, a good leader must have the ambitious pride of Julius Caesar. Second, a leader must display quick intelligence like Marc Antony. And most importantly, a good leader must be like Marcus Brutus and have the determination to stand by what he/ she thinks is right.---------------(Which opening sentences sound better? The ones written above or this:)If three specific qualities could be found in every good leader, past of present, what would these qualities be? How would these characteristics show leadership?

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One Answer to “Persuasive essay, Promp is “What makes a good leader?”, must be related to Sakespeare’s ‘Julius Ceaser’?”

  1. wino says:

    I prefer the first one but think you leave it a bit too late in the paragraph to introduce the 3 characteristics.Perhaps moving the paragraph round a bit with any necessary slight word changes – maybe start with the sentence beginning “In order to be considered…..” then change your current first words to “Are these three…”hope that helps