How could we punish a 12 year old stubborn girl?





We're running out of ideas! She's my cousin/2nd cousin/foster sister and my mother & I are running out of ideas. She was placed under our care after we offered to help her mother out and she bailed. Otherwise, she's just like her grandmother/my aunt and mother/cousin. Now, I know many will say because of abandonment she has a reason but in my family it's typical- they're all junkies and don't care for anyone else but themselves. We have given her affection and tried out best and it worked out for a few month but now it's back to lying, manipulating, and tantrums. The only time we get a reaction is when materialistic things are taken away. Punishments we've tried, she's on:No design cloths; only 5 plain shirts, 2 jeans, and two sneakers (Active; she threw a tantrum after we made her pick up her mess under the bed.).No TV (Active; back-talking and tantrums)Writing (Active; she grabbed our young jack Russell by his forearms and shook him, she had 3000 sentences of "I will never harm a creature of god because they feel how I feel" which upped to 4,700 after she threw another tantrum. We now realized that she was skipping tens and hundreds of them so we doubled the ones she missed and added to it so she has about 5,300 to do)Essays (Not Active; she just finished 3 page essays for Othello, Taming of the Shrew, The Black Cat, The tell tale heart, and William Wilson).No DS/Laptop/MP3 (Active; Laptop was sent back to the mother after she started getting an attitude. DS/MP3 was given back on the 31st after 1 month punishment but the next day she came back with detention so we just sent those two items back to her mother). No phone and we have cut almost all contact with her grandmother/mother. The ball kicker is that she then (almost a few days after the detention) gave us a christmas list of xbox 360 w/ kinect and 5 games (that we already have, but wants specifically for her) for it, a cell phone/ipod, a mac book, and 7 DS games.She's going to go to a therapist (well we assume, but the social workers seem to be playing us in favor of her mother, though we are in the process of adoption) and we are at our wits end. My family is about to call quits, but as for now what other punishment is there?And if you have any advice?



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7 Answers to “How could we punish a 12 year old stubborn girl?”

  1. AC-NHLI says:

    give her , her stuff back…yur pushing her away and shes gunna react to it….and MAKE HER WRGH ONLY 100 SENTENCES…..

  2. upbound says:

    she’ a 12 year old girl for goodness sakes! she’s 12! She should have hopes and dreams, and be happy. Punishing her constantly isn’t the way to go. Instead, try killing her with kindness. Dont’ yell and scream, just let her know how dissapointed you are in her. And if that doesn’t work, try spanking her. I know the time I was spanked by a belt by my dad I never EVER misbehaved again.

  3. polyphonism says:

    send her to boot camp

  4. rammel says:

    Seriously, writing sentences is a waste of time. Writing anything for punishment is a waste of time….Stick with positive reinforcement, not focusing on the negative. Why not try rewarding her for the good she does, and then she will be apt to do more good….the kids behavior wont change overnight.

  5. thenness says:

    shes just 1 of those girls who dont learn how to stop no matter what u do to her lol

  6. rkrouse says:

    1) Don’t give into tantrums. Absolutely ignore her and make her go to her room when this occurs. If she refuses to go to her room, physically put her in a place where she can have her temper tantrum and cool down. You have to stick to these rules. Do not be inconsistent about punishment and allow no room for argument. Do not give her anything she wants if she’s going to act in this way and DO NOT give speeches. They don’t help.2) Spank her. She still isn’t too old for a good, sound spanking.

  7. Mordva says:

    You people are mad.. you have no idea about how to treat a 12 year old girl.. She is about to step into a teenage.. lots of hormonal changes are occurring in her body.. she is growing.. treating her like that won’t get you anywhere.. How old are you anyways? Punishments are never a solution of anything.. by punishing her you are making her more rebellious.. and she is hating you for that.. that’s why she is acting like that.. Be a little liberal to her.. listen to what she wants and why.. then tell her want you think without forcing your decision on her.. If she is getting angry instead of getting more mad at her tell her that you are sorry if you have hurted her.. You need a deep study on how to treat with a preteen.. :/