Is a good social essay?

Tell me if i need to change something. I am not sure if the ending is good and does paragraph 3 state my point and support it well? Thank you :) The Youth Criminal Justice Act The Youth Criminal Justice Act(YCJA) is not fair and equitable. It needs to be harsher on teens. "The YCJA promotes violence and promotes dishonesty among young people because it’s a shield for them against the justice system," McLaughlin, father of the murdered vicitm, said. "If they don’t understand that there’s going to be a penalty for crossing that line, other than a slap on the wrist, they’re going to continue to do that.Sigurdson specializes in youth work, and the crimes he dealt with years ago were typically theft and arson cases. Now, it’s murders and violent gang-related crimes. "They’re seeking the adult sentences much more," Sigurdson said. "Personally, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Realistically, if you put a teenager in an adult custody situation, it’s a recipe for disaster. That person’s going to be damaged for life." One of the members of the John Howard society thinks the YCJA is fair by giving the youth a second chance. "Our long experience – and the burden of scientific evidence – convinces us that punishment does not prevent or reduce crime. " The Youth Criminal Justice Act is too easy on youth, making it not fair and equitable. Firstly, the YCJA should release the names of offenders, so that people that are around the offender are aware and the same does not happen to them. A 13- year- old girl is convicted to three counts of murder. She can go further and do more murders until she is 14, because under the YCJA, te girl's name cannot be published. The public is not served well when it cannot know the name of the offender. In these cases, the community has a lot at risk, including public safety. Secondly, criminal record should be allowed. For instance, a 16 year old boy has shoplifted four times. A 16 -year-old understands and holds the same responsibility as any 18-year-old , so there is no reason of avoiding criminal record. His bosses in the future need to know some risks of having this boy being applied for a job. This proves that criminal record should be allowed for youth just the same as for adults. Finally, the consequences should be stricter, because offenders keep on reoffending. For example, 12- year-old girl is convicted of three counts of murder and have done community service as a consequence. It is not fair to others because she has freedom to do more murders without being charged with adult sentences. More serious consequences should be applied to make the communities safer. Young offenders are causing Canada's communties to be worried about public safety. When aldoscents is aware of the consequences, they are more likely to stop themselves from breaking laws. It will teach youth to respect others and their property just like they want to be respected!

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One Answer to “Is a good social essay?”

  1. redeceive says:

    Who are “McLaughlin” and “Sigurdson”? If you’re going to quote somebody you should use their full name and who they are that makes their opinion relevant to what you’re trying to say. Spell-check: it’s “adoloscents” not “aldoscents”.You’ve got a number of grammatical errors as well as the spelling errors. You should be able to do a grammar check on your computer as well as spelling check.You seem to make your point well enough, but you need to properly cite sources of any quotes in the essay some of the wording could be improved: “employers” instead of “bosses”, etc.