Please help me with a thesis statement and editing my paragraph ASAP please?

Hello, wrote this compare and contrast paragraph about David Suzuki's essay "The Nature of Cultures" and Denise Chong's "Being Canadian" COuld you please edit this and help with my thesis statement. I think I made one near the beginning but I am not sure if it is good. Canadian diversity: David Suzuki and Denise Chong Canada is well-known for being a multicultural country. The many different cultures and ethnicities are what make Canada a country of diversity. Canada holds 33,739,900 people; thousands of these people are from various cultural groups within the country. Many Canadians have their roots based in another culture or country. I am a part of Canada and it’s diversity as well as many individuals living within Canada. Two Canadian born Asians, David Suzuki and Denise Chong, express what being a Canadian means to them by describing how they came to be in Canada through their ancestral past and in turn they become part of Canada’s diversity: a testament of their devotion to the country in which they now live.Two ideas that clearly portray the idea of Canada’s diversity are, "The Nature of Cultures", an essay by David Suzuki, and "Being Canadian", an essay by Denise Chong. David Suzuki and Denise Chong both expressed their feelings on growing up in a country while having different ethnic backgrounds than the majority. Suzuki and Chong have several experiences in common that they are able to share. First, both are from Asian backgrounds. For instance, David Suzuki comes from Japanese descent. Similarly, Denise Chong comes from a Chinese background. They are both of Asian origin which allows them similar experiences within Canadian society. A second way in which David Suzuki and Denise Chong are similar is that they were both born in Vancouver Canada, and also both received a college education at the University of British Columbia. They can both boast of their successful careers after growing up with parents that were determined to establish a future for their children, in a country that offered opportunity and acceptance. A final way that Suzuki and Chong are similar is the fact that they are equally happy, and grateful to be Canadian. Suzuki, for example, expresses his feelings on how grateful he is that his grandmother chose to immigrate to Canada, even though it was an often difficult and tumultuous effort. Likewise, Chong’s grandmother also had a harsh time immigrating over to Canada, because she was a concubine who entered Canada with false background information. An example of this is when Denise Chong’s grandfather falsified paperwork for his new bride in order for her to be able to live in Canada. However, although these two Asian-Canadians share many similarities, there are also striking differences in their experiences. First of all, Denise Chong continually refers to her family history, and expresses why it is important that people know how she became a Canadian. On the other hand, David Suzuki talks about how he is proud to be Canadian, and why he is so grateful to his family for having ensured his birthright in Canada. Denise finds it important that the world knows why she was born in Canada, where she came from, and how her grandmother fought her way into Canada, all in an effort to ensure a better future for her family and being able to live as a Canadian citizen. Suzuki stresses the importance of already being a Canadian in an accepting country, rather than pointing out his Japanese origin. David feels he is more Canadian than Japanese, and that his family is regretful for not teaching him more about his Japanese roots. For instance, when he went to Japan to visit his family he could hardly speak to them because of the language barrier. He felt out of place in Japan, even though he looked like everyone else. In contrast, Denise Chong feels more drawn to the history of her Chinese background and the past that brought her here. An example of this is when she writes her mother, "Despite the predictions of friends back in Canada, I was finding it difficult to feel any "Chineseness"." Her mother wrote back, "You’re Canadian, not Chinese. Stop trying to feel anything." Denise Chong’s parents wanted Denise and her siblings to know that they were Canadian born, and tried to ensure that Canadian values were part of their everyday lives. A final difference between the ideas of David Suzuki and Denise Chong is how they have kept in contact with their heritage. David Suzuki feels that being a Canadian is more important than being Japanese, because he was born in Canada not Japan. However, Denise Chong feels she needs to keep in close contact with her family history, and is determined to keep it alive and pass it on to the future generations. In conclusion, David Suzuki and Denise Chong, two Canadian born Asians, make valid points on their ideas on being Canadian and on their ancestral past; which makes them a part of Canada’s diversity today.

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One Answer to “Please help me with a thesis statement and editing my paragraph ASAP please?”

  1. lapstreaked says:

    I have not read either essay. However, here is a thesis-like statement that might work, based on reading your paper, which has great examples. You are right. A strong thesis statement will bring it all together. Then, at the end, summarize how your examples (the bulk of the paper) have in fact supported your thesis statement.So here is an idea: The term “culture” often conjures up large groups of people who have activities, attitudes, and attributes in common. And more often than not, the word is used to refer smaller minority groups within a larger society.However, (the author’s names and their two essays) remind us that units as small as a family or seemingly monolithic as an entire nation are rich with cultural identity and experiences that direct, define and distinguish its members within society. Then you could start where you started, and go from there. Good luck. Good writing.