English Essay Help?





Hello everyone,I am to write an essay for English on people who lie and deceived during World War II. It was to be 6-8 pages long but was reduced to 4, so I've started with a rather long introduction. I'd really like some constructive criticism or tips on my writing. It is going to be about a German boy who has grown up with a rough life and despises physical violence after seeing his father hurt his mother and his mother hurt him. When he is recruited into the German Army he quickly realizes what he is told to do is very wrong and helps the jews... he eventually gets caught and as an EPIC ending shot in the back of the head.The obviously lying and deceiving here is the German officer helps the jews, were he is supposed to be killing them/making their lives miserable. This is for a year 9 essay.(I will post it below)



Similar Asks:

  • Please read and edit my college admission essay? - 500 word limit “Although there may be tragedy in your life, there’s always a possibility to triumph. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you come from. The ability to triumph begins with you. Always”-Oprah As a young child, I was raped by my step grandfather. It is hard for me to write and talk
  • Is this a good introduction paragraph? How can I make it more like a speech? - I had to write a five paragraph persusuasive essay for school. My topic was the Holocaust. After writing the essay, we now have to turn it into a speech and present it to the class. This is my introduction paragraph for my speech. What do you think of it? How can I turn it into
  • Why did Dunkirk Occur and why was it a success?(in essay form please as i would like to form it for my History? - Dunkirk was what could be called an accidental success. The English army had been caught off guard by the German Blitzkrieg, lulled by months of inaction on both sides. Unable to establish defensive lines, the English troops fell back towards Dunkirk. With almost 300,000 men to be evacuated, the English found themselves unprepared to
  • Is it worth it? Should I go for him? - There’s a guy who is a year older than me who I have begun to really care about. He is very attractive, childish, entertaining, and well loved. I have been getting along with him well for a while, but there’s something different about him for me. Most of my friends are guys, so it’s always
  • Would someone please give me their opinion on my essay? Is not a long essay? - This was the question i hade to write an essay about: “Does the end justify the means?” You take a given situation and weight the pros and cons of one course of action over another, and the one with more pros is justified. If the mean employed will accomplish what we have in
  • What happend to the Jews that Maximilian Kolbe helped? - I have to do a essay on the Holocaust and Maximilian Kolbe. All the websites say that he hid Jews, but then got caught. What happend to the Jews he hid? If you know any info of him or even know or have met someone that has any connections to him, please let me know.
  • Anyone want to comment on my essay? - For my english class we’re required to write a freescroll paper on any subject, as long as it gets the thoughts going. I wrote mine on bulimia. Any thoughts/opinions?It’s a comfort. Hard to explain, but it really is a comfort. Not like when you’re really sick, no, because then you feel bad anyway, and then




One Answer to “English Essay Help?”

  1. depositum says:

    the essay is really good although a few verbs need to be in the past tense as that was when you origionally started out writing in so it needs to continue throughout the document. also this scentence in the first paragraph is kinda awkward.”her blue eyes were large and contrasted her bright pink face like nothing else.” it sounds awkward when you contrast her face, i know your trying to depict the differences shown although i would use different vocabulary.this other part doesn’t make much sense either, “I honestly thought she would take her own life just for me… “I understand what you are trying to convey although a different syntax would work better, as right now you are saying that she was going to kill herself just because of you?Other than that it sounds great and I hope that this helps you out!