CAN SOMEONE PLEASE REVIEW MY ESSAY? :)?





It's 7:00am, and I just finished my essay due 1st period (right time I get to schoool) So,can you please review it? It's about Using Freedom to Attain Success, so tell me if its good or bad.Using Freedom to Attain Success Several people use freedom to attain success. Whether it’s how blacks can vote now, how women can run for president, or how you have Freedom of Speech. Many people take these things advantage, but they shouldn’t! Various great people went through rough time to make this all possible. So remember, always be thankful for those people and things!Back in the early 1900’s, blacks couldn’t vote. Then in the 1960’s, they were able to vote. The Fifteenth Amendment is what made it possible for African Americans to vote. Now, they have a say on who becomes president. That can really help African Americans more victorious nowadays. Back then, it wasn’t fair at all how some people couldn’t vote just because of their skin color. Now, everyone is equal because of Martin Luther King! Believe it or not, many years ago, women couldn’t run for President! Now, women can do anything men can do. For example: Hillary Clinton. She was the first woman ever to run for President. Although she didn’t win, that had to be a great feeling for her. That can make other women feel confident enough to run now. Women can now be just as successful as men by running for President! Women should be happy to be able to run for President nowadays! Aren’t you glad that we have Freedom of Speech? Freedom of Speech is a Human Rights Law. You are supposed to be able to say anything you want, but if you say "Hate Speech’’ you can get in trouble for it. If you say offensive things to people, even though we have Freedom of Speech, you can be punished for it. Some people say that there has been Freedom of Speech in other places since the 7th century. Also, you even have Freedom of Speech on the internet! That means you can say anything you want to on the internet, except for offensive or mean things. Don’t you think we should be happy we have Freedom of Speech? Freedom of Speech can defiantly help you become successful! Don’t you see? We have many wonderful ways of becoming successful? As you know, some people take these things advantage. You should be very thankful for these things! Many people helped this come to be. Be thankful for them, and use these rights to the fullest so you can become successful! *Sorry its kind of long (:



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4 Answers to “CAN SOMEONE PLEASE REVIEW MY ESSAY? :)?”

  1. vilifying says:

    Um not bad but it ned work.

  2. FDISK's says:

    change “advantage” to “for granted” and it will be great!

  3. Elmsford says:

    awesome! intereesting your gonna get an A!

  4. friar's says:

    Its great…