What’s the nicest way to say no to someone asking for help?

In 6th grade I was voted most helpful because I tutored my peers after school. I NEVER say no to someone seeking my help which causes me to fall behind on my own work. People EXPECT me to help them yet I sometimes don't have the time and still listen to them, help them, guide them, whatever. School is about to commence and everyone is rushing to complete their assignments and have asked me to help her with the assignment and I want to say no. I really wouldn't consider my help as "HELP" when in reality I'm simply spoon-feeding them their answers which I want to use for my essay. I'm working on bettering myself (through proper education and etiquette) and one of the things I'd like to change about myself this year is learning to put myself first for the first time and worrying about me because peer pressure and my dropping grade point average are stressing me. I feel I need to better my self before I have some sort of mental/nervous breakdown.So any advice? Pile it all on me.

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6 Answers to “What’s the nicest way to say no to someone asking for help?”

  1. Boche says:

    The best thing you can do in any situation like that is be honest. Tell them that while you wish you could help you need to spend the time on yourself to study and bring your own grades up. The next step is to stick to your guns. No matter how much they beg and plead, no matter how they react keep saying no (often times repeating the same line over and over again does the trick. They eventually get tired of arguing with themselves) and don’t back down. If they become belligerent and abusive then tell them you’ve already given your answer and end the conversation (hang up, walk away, etc). Don’t fall to peer pressure or any threats or insults. True friends will show themselves and you’ll get rid of the bad ones and the headaches. Life is to short to deal with people that take advantage of you and believe me you’ll be all the happier for getting rid of them. Besides you said yourself you’re not actually helping them. If they truly want to improve then they can find proper tutors. I had to learn this lesson the hard way. While part of dog grooming is making the owners happy I also have to think about what’s best for the pet and sometimes it doesn’t agree with what the owners want done. I get dogs in from time to time that are so completely matted the only option is to shave them and while most owners are good enough that they listen to me and understand others become upset and demand that I brush their dog out rather then shave. During those times I have to stand up for what I know is best and, as I said, keep telling them that they can either have their dogs shaved or find another groomer. It takes a lot of practice and it won’t be easy, but you’ll eventually find your backbone. Just keep in mind that you’re worth it, and that you deserve better.

  2. elateridae says:

    First figure out how much time you need for you own studies then pick a certain time that you want to achieve them. Once you have that figured that out make a flyer that tells the people you tutor what time your available and, if you choose, that you won’t tutor people during school then pass them out and explain why things have changed.

  3. cheriya says:

    I have been in this exact situation people expect me to give in or help them. I am going into 9th grade, and last year, I changed myself, I was failing in 7th grade while I helped everyone else pass with flying colors. The hardest part was when people got mad at me for saying no, I would just say “I am so sorry, I have the same assignment and I don’t know if I will have time.” or something along those lines, I did help when I did have extra time, but I didn’t want to over schedule like I did the year before. Eventually, people realize, you don’t have unlimited time, but you still help when you can, and on a first come first serve basis.

  4. indues says:

    Just open your mouth and say ‘no’.

  5. scowlproof says:

    People are using you and taking advantage of your kindness. You have to realize that if you don’t take care of yourself first you’re really helping noone. Saying no is hard for caring people like yourself, but to really be a loving person, you have to love yourself first and foremost. Good luck and be strong – you will grow from this and be a better stronger person, able to help more people who deserve the help.

  6. nunciative says:

    I see myself in you. You’ve got to practice saying ‘no’ though. I know it is not easy, but that is the only way you can solve this problem. Just tell them you can’t help them because you also have work to do.