Would you please proof read?





Give me your thoughts and if you feel like i should edit please let me know! I have to write an essay on one of the characters of A thousand Splendid SunsIm taking advice and opinions Mariam’s CourageWe all come from diverse backgrounds and religiously, we are all raised differently. As children, we learned to listen to everything our parents told us and they set our standard of beliefs for what is right and wrong,. However, when we are young it is hard to differentiate the good and bad; so we listen to our parents, and we grow up learning to be like them. Nevertheless we can choose to be better people. Mariam proved that we decide where our own future takes us, which made her very significant to this story. Mariam lived a life of submission but everything that she endured in her life only made her a stronger woman. Since Mariam was 5 years old she learned to believe that she was a harami- bastard. At the time, she did not understand but she learned to believe her mother’s words. Though she is raised by Nana, her mother, she is very fond of her estranged father, Jalil. As Mariam grows older she realizes that she is living in an unrealistic world, so in efforts to make her life better she goes in search of her father, but things only get worse from there. After her dad rejects her Mariam goes back to her small shack to find her lifeless mother hanging from a tree. Her father then forces her into marriage when she is only 15 years old. She marries Rasheed a shoemaker who mistreats her for not being able to provide him with a child. For years she lived a life of submission and in moment of despair Mariam develops courage to stand up for herself. She grabs a shovel from the shed and as she swung at Rasheed she thought of all the people that neglected her, she thought of what her life had become, and realize that at that moment it was the first time in her life that she was choosing the course of her own life, and so she swung the shovel as hard as she could. It took a lot of courage to do something of that intensity but Mariam finally realized that she needed to do something for herself. She embraced the consequences that came along, but decides to never look back. Mariam was never truly loved but she learned to give her love away. She loved those who did not care, and cared for those who she did not know. Mariam gave unconditional love, but never received it. She was a strong girl who questions authority and dreamt of bigger things for herself. The setting of the book was around the 1990’s when the Taliban imposed unjust rules that forbade women from taking part in society. The Taliban had forced women to stop attending school and work but they also could not walk alone in the streets, and it was important for the author to emphasize the setting because it was a very hard time in the life of Afghans. This book was written on events that are still happening in Afghanistan, in a world were women have no freedom and young girls are being forced into marriage. Mariam lived a distressed life, but always tried to make the best of things. It is amazing how she is able to embrace all that comes her way and it is something that is truly inspiring.



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One Answer to “Would you please proof read?”

  1. recrossing says:

    You do need to edit.Mariam’s CourageWe all come from diverse backgrounds(,) and religiously, we are all raised differently. As children, we learned to listen to everything our parents told us(,) and they set our standard of beliefs for what is right and wrong,. However, when we are young(,) it is hard to differentiate the good and bad(,) so we listen to our parents, and we grow up learning to be like them. Nevertheless(,) we can choose to be better people. Mariam proved that we decide where our own future takes us, which made her very significant to this story. (She)Mariam lived a life of submission(,) but everything that she endured in her life only made her a stronger woman. Since Mariam was 5(five) years old(,) she learned to believe that she was a (“)Harami-bastard.(“) At the time, she did not understand(,) but she learned to believe her mother’s words. Though she is raised by Nana(–)her mother(–)she is very fond of her estranged father, Jalil. As Mariam grows older(,) she realizes that she is living in an unrealistic world, so in efforts to make her life better she goes in search of her father, but things only get worse from there. After her dad rejects her(,) Mariam goes back to her small shack to find her lifeless mother hanging from a tree(reword to make less insensitive). Her father then forces her into marriage when she is only 15(fifteen) years old. She marries Rasheed(,) a shoemaker who mistreats her for not being able to provide him with a child. For years she lived a life of submission(,) and in moment of despair(,) Mariam develops courage to stand up for herself. She grabs a shovel from the shed(,) and as she swung at Rasheed she thought of all the people that neglected her, she thought of what her life had become, and realize that(,) at that moment(,) it was the first time in her life that(when) she was choosing the course of her own life(repeated life), and so she swung the shovel as hard as she could(run-on sentence, break it into two peices). It took a lot of courage to do something of that intensity(,) but Mariam finally realized that she needed to do something for herself. She embraced the consequences that came along, but decides to never look back. Mariam was never truly loved(,) but(overuse of ‘but.’) she learned to give her love away. She loved those who did not care, and cared for those who she did not know. Mariam gave unconditional love, but never received it. She was a strong girl who questions authority and dreamt of bigger things for herself. The setting of the book was around the 1990’s(90s) when the Taliban imposed unjust rules that forbade women from taking part in society. The Taliban had forced women to stop attending school and work but they also could not walk alone in the streets, and it was important for the author to emphasize the setting because it was a very hard time in the life of Afghans(untrue information, research more). This book was written on events that are still happening in Afghanistan, in a world were women have no freedom and young girls are being forced into marriage. Mariam lived a distressed life, but always tried to make the best of things. It is amazing how she is able to embrace all that comes her way(,) and it is something that is truly inspiring.All suggestions, though I think if you took most into consideration, you could improve your work.Best of luck.