My mom always compares me with my sister? + my problems with school?





Yesterday I started getting depressed because I knew school was starting again. I lapsed into my depression again and started crying. I remind myself that school isn't that bad but it doesn't help. I dread going the next day. I do have friends, We are not really close and I am always afraid of talking to people because i am very shy. I can't pay attention to what the teacher says because it just reminds me of how awful school is especially when the teacher starts shouting. My school is super strict, its a girl-only school, we have uniform, and we're not allowed to do anything. we don't have any side activities or clubs except for a trip once a year to the park. I try as hard to concentrate but it usually brings me to tears. I don't like crying during classes but i guess that usually happens. And the Lunch is terrible, the food is like poison to me. When i return home. I just lock myself at my room, and throw all the books on my bed. while hardly trying to withhold my tears, I start solving math problems, writing English essays. Studying science books (Geology, Chemistry, Physics), reading religion books, printing psychology research and write random passages in German, And studying the French Dictation ......etc and after the daily battle with my books, i easily get stressed at exams and bring C's. My older sister is a perfect girl, she is very happy and very succesful and my parents always compare me with her. she gets straight A's because she cheats at everything. and she constantly makes fun of my look because she is super pretty and i am not that beautiful. she also makes fun of my personality because she thinks that I am over-emotional, sensitive, serious and i don't like having fun. My parents are really worried. they think that i suffer from depression and that i am trying to fight it alone. I didn't eat since last night and my parents think that i am starving myself when i am not hungry, I actually lost my will to eat, because i think that life is pointless. I am usually happier when holidays start, I actually get time to read and to listen to music. I study because i want to make my parents proud because i love them. but they just don't understand me. I love my sister too but i am a little bit jealous of the attention she gets at school and at home. The only achievement i made in my life is getting the first prize in a poetry competition. I am such a failure. I don't even deserve the money my parents pay for this school. I don't deserve the house i am living in. I feel like a loser.



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4 Answers to “My mom always compares me with my sister? + my problems with school?”

  1. anteflexion says:

    I feel bad for you, school is tough time for everyone so you shouldnt feel as if its only happening to you, no matter how bad things seem they will get better for you so dont worry about it x

  2. tabanus says:

    Yes you are beautiful and you deserve everything you have PLUS more silly! Depression is causing all of these problems your having so seek help talk to your family about it go to the doctor get therapy anything to make you happy again . Once your Happy everything is fixed happiness is everything! Goodluck <3

  3. triflingly says:

    Im just like u! .. But I play a sport which makes me calm down nd one day I wanna become pro nd make everyone in the world notice my skills.. So find something u love nd don’t ever give up

  4. noncorrespondence says:

    Try switching to a public school, it’s much more fun with all the extra activities, More people, no uniforms, helpful and understanding teachers and much more. Talk to your parents about it.