Can someone help read my essay and add comment?

Every year we all know that some couples will get married, but at what age is best? I believe getting married at an older age is better. There are three reasons why it is better to get married at an older age: you are more mature, you are more money-wise stable and you are more responsible. First, at an older age you are more likely to be mature when getting married. Being more mature when you are married will help your marriage to last long because you and your lover will be more likely to understand each other in bad situations such as an argument than having to argue. You also look at things in a different perspective which helps your relationship. For example, mature couples will trust each other when out along than to think that your lover might be doing something wrong. Another reason why it is better to get married at an older age is because you are more money-wise stable. Older people are more likely to have a stable job already and have less wants to buy. They tend to spend less and save more which will be helpful in the long run if something bad had occurred. Next, getting married at an older age is better because you are more likely to be responsible.

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4 Answers to “Can someone help read my essay and add comment?”

  1. unmoneyed says:

    Since this is an essay, take yourself out of it. Don’t use any “I think”, or “I believe”. Only use those if the essay is supposed to be about what you think. Also, you only provide reasons for why getting married at an older age is best. You need to provide more information on why getting married younger is not a good choice. I would say that it doesn’t appear that you gathered your thoughts and wrote an outline before typing. When reading, t feels like you just threw your thoughts onto paper, totally unorganized. It’s a good start for a draft, but it’s not grouped well. Break into paragraphs. Check punctuation. Never end an essay with “Next.” It should be “finally” or something to that effect, for the last sentence of the body of the essay. You still need to add a conclusion to wrap up the entire essay.Here’s how to start your outline:Introduction- Tell what you are writing about, why it’s controversial and state your opinion on the matterBody- Give detail on your opinion. Explain both sides on the story. Why getting married older is better and the downfalls of getting married younger. Provide examples- otherwise it’s just an opinion essay and not really anything of substance.Conclusion- Wrap up the entire essay and restate your opinion on the topic.

  2. upases says:

    that essay sounds too short. Are you sure that is long enough? Also it is BAD to post your work on here because someone else might copy it and pretend it is theirs.

  3. shrimp says:

    your punctuation is better than mine, you may have left out a few words and also the word “more” stands out you might choose another word instead of useing more- of course i am not the one to evaluate english, but I am a word warrior, other than those two your fine.

  4. menechia says:

    Are you in college? If you are, a trip to your school’ s writing center may be in order. They will be able to help you much more than us. Your arguments–you have no support for most of them. You state, “There are three reasons why it is better to get married at an older age” as if that’s a hard and true fact, and it’s not. Change it to, “There are a variety of OPINIONS (not reasons) as to why it is a good idea to get married at an older age.” And say, “variety” instead of “three”–just because you list three reasons, doesn’t mean there aren’t many more. “money-wise stable” sounds awkward. Change to “financially secure.” And this isn’t true of everyone. Many people accrue debt as they age. Mostly, you need to be careful about stating opinions as fact and making generalizations that don’t apply to everyone.