Would this be an A worth for my first essay in the 9th grade? What would be a better conclusion?

As we all grow older, our minds begin to wonder off in a place of multifarious emotions and complexes. We have no control over what we think or why we think the way we do. Our lives begin as a misunderstood baby to a fading elderly whose mind is yet to wonder off as it did when it was a mere toddler. Now, as we read through the short story, Miriam, we all were wondering what Miriam really was and was it right for Mrs. Miller to describe Miriam as "wicked" if she is an unknown figure? To begin with, Miriam was a simple creation of an elderly woman’s imagination. She always seemed to be this strange little girl who had the attitude and characteristics of Mrs. Miller, everything about her referred back to Mrs. Miller. Because Mrs. Miller had gone through having her husband die and being lonely with no kids or grandkids to keep her busy, she has probably developed Bipolar disorder. With Bipolar, she lacks in her sleep and she feels depressed most of the time. With the lack of sleep, she starts imagining things uncontrollably and she starts to feel upset and moody because of that. Creating Miriam was some sort of path in Mrs. Miller’s mind to just add on to her stressful time or try to get away from everything, just like a nightmare or a bridge over a river, trying to go somewhere without falling or getting wet. Miriam can not be categorized as a nightmare because it is not Mrs. Miller’s mind that forms Miriam, it is Mrs. Miller’s intention and sickness that forms her. Miriam is a symbol of how Mrs. Miller feels now: alone, confused, faded, and just forgotten and unimportant. Truman Capote, probably, intended for Mrs. Miller’s character to be the confused one, who is threatened and trapped in her own thoughts and Miriam is just to emphasize that fact and teach the readers what Mrs. Miller’s character is or was like. Following, as being characterized as a wicked little person or thing, Mrs. Miller is right and wrong towards her choice of words. First of all, she is right to use wicked to describe Miriam because Miriam is a haunting from her thoughts, even though she truly is not a nightmare, but a mere intentional thought, wicked is a proper way to describe Miriam because she is also weakening this poor elderly women. Mrs. Miller has it tough as it is and honestly, anyone who is placed in her shoes would also describe Miriam as a wicked thing. Miriam occupies Mrs. Miller’s life as if she were a schedule, planned out to occupy time in a busy day. Miriam also terrorizes Mrs. Miller by constantly disturbing her and others, like, awakening her canary and scaring Mrs. Miller almost half way to her grave, after disappearing and returning unknowingly. On the other hand, Mrs. Miller should not have called Miriam wicked because Miriam is almost certainly to be Mrs. Miller’s past or conscience and calling herself and her own actions wicked is not only weird, but undignified even for a women of her age and status. In the end, after reading this short story, Miriam, it had most of us wondering who or what is Miriam and was it right to refer Miriam as wicked, if she is unknown.

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One Answer to “Would this be an A worth for my first essay in the 9th grade? What would be a better conclusion?”

  1. servanthood says:

    A better conclusion would be Miriam leaves us in an uncomfortable situation. As Mrs. Miller’s alter ego, to call her wicked is to call Mrs. Miller wicked. Yet Miriam had a wicked effect on Mrs. Miller – she took up the old woman’s time and thoughts; she tormented her – so it’s hard to deny that she was wicked. Is it fair to place such a label on a being we can’t understand? That’s a personal decision, and for myself I have decided that Miriam was an independent spirit who was deliberately wicked.